my dreams have been a source of amusement to the boys and I on many a tour. occasionally they manifest in videos, songs, pictures
i’ll share a couple with you, that and the reveries that are induced by the hypnotic nature of being in a van.

on a beach
and I’m drinking a bottle of sagres
the bottle is covered in pictures of calamity jane
lots of different aspects of calamity jane; with gun, with bandit mask and then her in a bikini  
up the beach ,there’s two large flags
underneath the flags there’s two large holes
in the first hole I find my grandfather standing up
in the second hole I find my grandmother upside down
nobody’s worried. They explain that they were trying to play a game of charades that went wrong. I panic and try to act out the charade for Dr Zhivago.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, your topiary techniques almost certainly need working on.

If the sun is setting backwards then perhaps you're standing on your head... Or it's the morning.

Turns out a cup of tea can't make everything better. I've had at least three and they've just sat there steaming at me.

Without gravity it wouldn’t rain and I’d definitely be happier floating around instead of walking.

I suppose the legal implications of parking your elephant on double yellow lines depends on the local council’s standard protocol for pachyderm parking.

If only I could find a way to roast water I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

The dangers of funky disco dancing to monophonic liturgical music should definitely be investigated.

Wind power is brilliant. I'm gonna put a propeller on the end of a big stick and get harvesting!!!

People who live in igloos should never install underfloor heating. It makes the floor all wet.